


You're Going To Be Fine, I Promise

by fallingjustanotherwaytofly



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Crying, Cussing, Depression, M/M, Starvation, Stress, Suicidal Thoughts, Volleyball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-06
Updated: 2014-12-06
Packaged: 2018-02-28 10:09:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2728436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingjustanotherwaytofly/pseuds/fallingjustanotherwaytofly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Until he discovered volleyball and met his best friend, and future boyfriend Iwaizumi Hajime, life was miserable and he had hoped that everything would get easier as he grew up. But life is hard on everyone, and Oikawa Tooru is no exception.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Oikawa Tooru

**Author's Note:**

> This is my second fanfic and I am really proud of it. I hope you like it as well. :)
> 
> Check the tags before reading this. This story contains triggering content such as suicidal thoughts and starvation. 
> 
> I apologize for any grammar mistakes that I have probably made.
> 
> Enjoy!

Oikawa Tooru is the youngest of three children. His oldest sister just recently became a neurologist. All throughout her childhood she was in advanced classes. In highschool she was popular, beautiful, athletic, and graduated a year early as valedictorian. His older brother was a musical prodigy. By the age of six he was already a genius piano player. He could master any instrument he got his hands on. Now he goes to a prestigious college for gifted musicians. And then there’s Tooru, the youngest child by many years. With his sister being ten years older and his brother being seven years older, Tooru barely knew them. By the time Tooru was born his parents were done with raising children. After the amount of stress and money they spent on their other two children, little was left for Tooru. He spent his childhood trying to get the attention of his parents who worked more than they were home. And with his siblings being so much older than he, they wanted nothing to do with him. So he had to raise himself, learn to survive by himself. But that doesn’t mean he gave up on desperately trying to earn his parent’s approval and love. Tooru was not as smart as his sister and was in regular classes with the rest of the kids his age. And he wasn’t musically inclined at all. He had no special talent worthy enough to earn praise from his mother and father. Until he discovered volleyball and met his best friend, and future boyfriend Iwaizumi Hajime, life was miserable and he had hoped that everything would get easier. But growing up is hard on everyone. And Tooru is no exception.  
______________________________________________________________________

Iwaizumi Hajime is Oikawa’s best and only friend because he’s the only one that will put up with Oikawa’s constant bullshit. The only one who doesn’t worship the ground he walks on. The only one who REALLY knows the true Oikawa Tooru.

You see, the Oikawa that everyone else sees isn’t really who he is. It’s a fake persona. What you see at school or on the court is all an act. A clever, flawless performance that any actor or actress, no matter how talented or famous, could never compete with. He never faltered and he never slipped up. 

He made himself seems like a God. Always having girls hang on him night and day, beating team after team in volleyball, becoming captain, making good grades, having everyone fall for him no matter what he does. The list of things he has mastered goes on and on. So much so that no one suspects that something’s wrong. 

And that’s what Oikawa clings to. 

Building walls so high and strong that no one could break through them. Keeping people emotionally distant and having shallow relationships with everyone. Evading any personal question that may leave him vulnerable and being able to change the subject without the other person realizing it. Creating the perfect fake smile that can light up a room. Pretending to be better than everyone else only to cover up the fact that he felt like he was less than dirt. 

And everyone fell for it, except for Iwaizumi.  
_____________________________________________________________________

“Oi, Oikawa! Practice ended half an hour ago. It’s time to go home before you overwork yourself again.” Iwaizumi yelled from across the court. 

“In a minute! Let me practice my serves a few more times!” Oikawa yelled back while keeping his eye on the net.

“No, we’re leaving now, dumbass. It’s late and I’ve got shit to do.”

“Iwa-chan! How can you be so mean to me?”

Iwaizumi dropped his bag on the floor and made his way over to his boyfriend. 

“Put the ball down and go get changed. I’ll put everything away.” He grumbled as he began to take down the net.

“Fine, I’ll be back in a minute.” And with that Oikawa jogged to the locker room.

 

“When is that idiot going to learn that he has to give his body a break?”  
_________________________________________________________

Oikawa slowly and silently began to change. He really overdid it today at practice and he could feel his shoulder throbbing in pain. “Worth it,” he whispered to himself, “I need to get better if I want a volleyball scholarship.” He began to space off as he remembers the conversation he and his parents had just a few nights earlier.

“I’m doing my best, father! Some college recruiters are going to come to our school soon! I’ll be sure to do my best.” Oikawa said.

“You better, Tooru. If you don’t get a scholarship for this stupid sport you play you aren’t going to college. Your mother and I have worked our asses off putting your siblings through college and we don’t have enough for you to go as well. Not to mention that volleyball isn’t going to get you anywhere in life. Why spend money on going to school if you don’t even know what you want to do with your life?” His father said with a raised voice. He wasn’t yelling, but he wasn’t being quiet either.

“Your father is right,” his mother said, “we just don’t have the money to send you to college.”

Oikawa snapped back into reality when he heard Iwaizumi call for him.

“Coming!” He yelled back.


	2. Something's Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my second fanfic and I am really proud of it. I hope you like it as well. :)
> 
> Check the tags before reading this. This story contains triggering content such as suicidal thoughts and starvation.
> 
> I apologize for any grammar mistakes that I have probably made.
> 
> Enjoy!

The two friends walked home with each other. They only lived a few houses apart so Iwaizumi walked Oikawa home each night. Iwaizumi always used the excuse that he wanted to make sure Oikawa didn’t get lost or mugged. But really he just wanted to spend those few extra moments together.

Oikawa was strangely quiet on their walk home. He was usually talking about the latest gossip or girl that confessed to him that day.

“What’s going on, Tooru? Something’s wrong.” Iwaizumi said as he grabbed Oikawa's hand in his and laced their fingers together. 

Oikawa knew that Iwaizumi was being serious since he called him by his first name.

“Nothing’s wrong, Hajime. I’m just tired, that’s all.” Oikawa said.

“Bullshit, stop lying to me. You know I know you better than that. Have you been eating? You look thinner.” Iwaizumi was concerned. “How sweet.” Oikawa thought to himself.

“Yes mom. Geez…”

“Are you getting enough sleep? Or are you staying up too late watching other team’s videos or some shitty alien movie?”

“Alien movies are great! Don’t be so mean. And yes I’m getting enough sleep.”

“Your eyes have bags under them.”

“They’re designer.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Love you too, babe.”

The rest of the walk was awkwardly silent till they reached Oikawa’s house.

“Your parents aren’t home.” Iwaizumi said when he saw the dark house.

“Are they ever?” Oikawa silently said to himself.

“I can always stay the night you know. If you get lonely or anything.” Iwaizumi blushed after what he said, clearly embarrassed. 

“Are you trying to flirt with me? Because It’s working.” Oikawa winked.

“No, dumbass. It’s way too late for that. Do you want me to stay or not?”

“No, I have some homework to do and I don’t want to get distracted by such a handsome boy.”

Iwaizumi shook his head and leaned up to give Oikawa a goodnight kiss.

“Promise me you’ll eat something and go to bed early. You need to take care of yourself, captain.”

“Alright alright. Go home now. Wouldn’t want you to get lost.” Oikawa then gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek. “Night.”

“Night.” And with that Iwaizumi turned around and began to walk away. Over his shoulder he yelled, “Text me if you need anything, ok? You know I’m always here for you.”

Oikawa laughed as he unlocked the front door and stepped inside the lonely house. 

He went upstairs to his room without turning any lights on.

“Hajime is going to be mad if he finds out that I’m skipping dinner.” He mused to himself as he began to strip out of his school clothes.

He walked to the bathroom and took a short shower. After he got out he wrapped a towel around his waist and brushed his teeth avoiding the mirror at all costs. He hated how he looked. He hated how his reflection showed how much of a shell he had become. He didn’t know what people saw in him. Why Iwaizumi thought he was attractive. He was tall, too tall and probably too skinny. He knew the bags under his eyes were becoming more noticeable. It’s true, he hasn’t been sleeping much. All he does is play volleyball and study. There was no time for sleep if he wanted to go to college. 

After he was finished in the bathroom he changed into a pair of sweatpants and one of Iwaizumi shirts that he had left at his house by accident. 

It wasn’t till 2:00 am that he finished all of his work. He ended up falling asleep at his desk rather than his bed. Something he seemed to be doing that more and more often.


	3. You're Not Going Anywhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my second fanfic and I am really proud of it. I hope you like it as well. :)
> 
> Check the tags before reading this. This story contains triggering content such as suicidal thoughts and starvation.
> 
> I apologize for any grammar mistakes that I have probably made.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Dumbass left the door unlocked again. One of these days he is going to get robbed or murdered.” Iwaizumi thought to himself as he walked into the house and shut the front door behind him.

For years the two have met up at a stop sign near both of their houses and walked to school each morning. 

The house looked untouched, as usual. No one was ever home enough to mess it up and Oikawa spent most of his time in his room.

“Oi, Oikawa, what’s the hold up? Is your lazy ass even awake?” Iwaizumi shouted as he knocked on Oikawa’s bedroom door. 

He waited a few moments and heard nothing.

“He must still be asleep. We’re going to be late if he doesn’t light a fire under his ass.”

As he opened the bedroom door he noticed how messy the room was. Oikawa rarely had a messy room. He wanted to keep it tidy at all times so his parents wouldn’t call him lazy or a slob. Plus his room wasn’t big to begin with. Since he was the youngest of the three kids he got the smallest room in the house. This was the messiest he has ever seen it. Oikawa usually comes over to his place so he hasn’t really seen his bedroom in a while. The floor was littered with books, papers, and dirty clothes. He noticed the empty bed and panicked a bit. “What if he was kidnapped last night?” “No, that’s stupid. Don’t over react.” He quietly told himself as he fully stepped into the room.

“Tooru?” 

No response.

“Tooru!”

Then he finally heard a groan coming from the corner of the small room. Oikawa had fallen asleep on the cluttered desk.

“Fuck, what time is it?” Oikawa said to himself as he rubbed his eyes.

“Time for us to be at school.” Iwaizumi walked over to the desk.

“Shit! I must have overslept!” 

“Clearly.”

Oikawa quickly got up and attempted to walk over to his closet. But after a few steps he began to wobble back and forth and then fell to the floor luckily not hitting his head.

“Tooru!” Iwaizumi ran over to him and picked him up bridal style. “He’s so light,” he softly said, “I should have known he’s be skipping meals.”

He laid his boyfriend on the bed and gently slapped him in the face.

“Tooru, wake up!”

“Hn… Hajime, what happened?” Oikawa said as he slowly regained consciousness.

“You passed out or something. Are you ok?”

“Yeah yeah I’m fine. I gotta’ get dressed, help me up.” Oikawa began to slowly raise himself using Iwaizumi’s shoulder for support.

“Oh no, you're not going anywhere. We’re skipping school today.” Iwaizumi forced Oikawa to lay back down even though he resisted.

“No, I can’t miss. I don’t want to miss school. My parents will be pissed.”

“The only time you've ever missed school was in the 6th grade when you got the flu. You’ll be fine. You and I are going to stay here today. Somethings wrong with you, you’re in no condition to leave so sit your ass down.” 

“Fine. But you need to call the school. Pretend to be my father and tell them that I’m out sick.”

“I’ll do that later. But for now I need you to stay in bed. I’m going to go get you water and something to eat because clearly you’re starving yourself.”

“No I’m not, Haijime. I just don’t have much time to eat. I eat at school, don’t I?”

“Yeah, when you remember to make yourself lunch. I usually give you half of mine and that isn’t much.”

“True…”

“Wait here I’ll be back.”

“Ok…”


	4. You're Going To Be Fine, I Promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my second fanfic and I am really proud of it. I hope you like it as well. :)
> 
> Check the tags before reading this. This story contains triggering content such as suicidal thoughts and starvation.
> 
> I apologize for any grammar mistakes that I have probably made.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Jesus, when was the last time anyone has been to the store?”

There wasn’t much food in the house so Iwaizumi had to make do with whatever he could find.

“Maybe cereal? No milk. Ok, maybe they have some bread for toast? Shit, expired.”

He searched and searched but had no luck. 

“Should I run to my house? No, I don’t have time for that plus if mom finds out that I’m skipping she’ll be furious.” 

After a few more minutes he finally found something.

Waffles that you can make using a toaster. Perfect.

He opened the pack and put two waffles in the toaster. As they cooked he quickly took a glass of water upstairs and gave it to Oikawa.

“Drink.” He demanded.

“I love it when you’re so demanding, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa sarcastically said as he took a sip of water.

“I’ll be right back. I made some waffles.”

“But Iwa-chan! I don’t like waffles, remember?”

“But Tooru, I don’t give a fuck. I told you to eat and you didn’t, remember?”

“So mean!” Oikawa pouted and Iwaizumi made his way back to the kitchen.

The waffles were a little burnt, but they were as good as it was going to get.

He threw them on a plate, grabbed a fork and knife, and made his way back up the steps and into the bedroom.

“You’re not to do anything till you eat both of these waffles.”

“Yes sir!”

In record time Oikawa finished both waffles. He acted like a dog who hasn’t eaten in weeks. Which is probably true for him as well. 

“So are you going to tell me what’s wrong or not?” 

“I’m just busy, that’s all.”

“Cut the crap, Tooru. You’re not eating, you’re overdoing it at practice, you’re clearly not sleeping, and you have mountains of papers and books. So stop acting so strong and let me in for once. You know I’m here for you, why are you always so private? I don’t get it. We’ve been friends for years and you mean a lot to me. Now I won’t ask again, tell me the truth.”

Oikawa stared down at his hands for a few minutes. The room silent enough that the only sound you could hear was the ticking of an alarm clock.

“Tooru come on an-” Iwaizumi was caught off guard when he heard Oikawa sniffling.

“Shit,” he thought to himself, “he’s going to cry.” Iwaizumi took his shoes and coat off and crawled into bed with Oikawa.

The floodgates opened and Oikawa started sobbing into Iwaizumi’s chest.

Iwaizumi wrapped his arms around his crying boyfriend and rocked him back and forth waiting till Oikawa was ready to talk. 

“I can’t fucking take it anymore, Hajime.” Oikawa said in between each sob. “Everything is too much, I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up. I’m exhausted. I don’t have time for anything. I’m so fucking stressed. Hajime I don’t know how much more I can take. I’m not enough for this family. I’m not talented, I’m not a genius, I’m just a mistake who can play volleyball. That’s all I am. I’ll never be like them and I know it. I’ll never be enough for my parents no matter how much I try. They told me that If I don’t get a scholarship I won’t be able to go to college. I know that they have enough money, they’re just tired of spending it. I don’t blame them. I was just an accident. They’re never even home. No one is. My siblings have their own lives and don’t care about me. I have no family. It’s killing me. All of this is killing me. I can’t keep this show up much longer. I’m trying my fucking best and even that isn’t enough. I’m trying to keep it together but every night is harder than the one before. I want to give up, Hajime. I’m tired, so tired. I just want to sleep and never wake up. It would be so much easier for everyone. I’m such a waste of space. I’m a hideous waste of space.” Oikawa was a mess. Crying, shaking, his voice becoming raw and scratchy. 

Iwaizumi was speechless. How did he not realize this sooner? His boyfriend was falling apart each day and it took him this long to realize it. 

Iwaizumi had to hold back tears himself. This was breaking his heart. He rocked Oikawa back and forth, rubbing circles on his back. Kissing the top of his head repeatedly.

“Shh, shh, calm down. Please… don’t say things like that... Please...”

“Why not? It’s the truth isn’t it? Hajime you deserve so much better than this. You’re wasting your time with me.”

Iwaizumi grabbed the sides of Oikawa’s face and looked at him straight in the eyes.

“You stop that, stop saying lies like that. Tooru I love you. From the moment I met you I’ve loved you. You mean the world to me. And if anything were to happen to you my life would be over. Don’t do this, don’t do anything stupid. Don’t you dare leave me.”

Oikawa cried even harder and wrapped his arms are Iwaizumi’s neck.

“What do I do? I’m so lost, Hajime. I don’t know what to do.”

“I don’t know either. Not yet at least. But we’ll figure this out, ok? I'll help you with your homework and I’ll stay over here as much as possible. I’ll cook for you and help you with anything and everything. I’ll stay with you till you fall asleep. Let me help you.” Iwaizumi pleaded.

Oikawa didn’t say anything for a while. He just cried. Finally after what seemed like an eternity Oikawa gathered the strength to speak. Even though his throat was raw he managed to say, “Thank you, Hajime. I love you, I love you so much. You’re all I have. I won’t leave, I promise.”

Iwaizumi leaned down and kissed Oikawa. He pulled back and said, “You’re going to be fine, I promise. Tell me that you’re going to be fine."

“I’m… I’m going to be fine.”

“Good, I want you to get as much a sleep as possible.”

“Will you stay in bed with me?”

“I promise.”

“Night, Iwa-chan. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

A few minutes later Oikawa was sound asleep, laying his head on Iwaizumi’s chest.

“You’re such a dumbass. But you’re my dumbass.” Iwaizumi whispered softly into Oikawa’s hair. He gave him one last kiss on the head and then fell asleep himself. 

They were going to be fine, and more importantly, Oikawa was going to be fine.


End file.
